The Reality of Expectations

Expectations form the basis of all our interactions and relationships. This is a reality that has been conditioned into us culturally. It activates a person’s basic need for ‘something in return’.

In a glaring show of hypocrisy, which is yet another of our unique cultural traits, on the one hand we spread knowledge (and force-feed it in certain cases) about our sacred texts. These are the same texts that emphasise so much on the importance of working towards your goal without expecting anything in return, doing good unto others without expecting that it shall come back to you, philanthropy without any expectations.. well you get the drift. And on the other hand, our actions are in sharp contrast with the exact thing we propagate. How many times have we actually done some good without anyone knowing? Our need for acceptance and appreciation from others supercedes our need to be righteous.

It is the same with relationships. There may be a miniscule change in the thought processes of the current generation, but it has always been completely acceptable to form relationships entirely on the basis of how useful the concerned person will be for you. As if that wasn’t enough, the importance of people in your life must be in direct correlation with their potential of being useful for you. If you sit back and reflect, this seems so wrong. Yet, it’s the norm.

This ultimately also percolates down to the most vital social unit – the family. As hard as we try, our social conditioning barely allows us to have selfless relationships even within our own families. Children learn to expect that their parents must fulfill all their demands and believe that it’s their parents’ duty to make them happy. These kids are raised with the expectation that they will dedicate their lives to fulfilling their parents’ dreams. They are expected to be obedient at the cost of losing their individuality.

This vicious circle continues to haunt generations and seems to be the only chink in the armour that our rich culture otherwise is. No one said it better than Shakespeare when he said “Expectation is the root of all heartache”.